Lights, Camera, (let's focus on your) Action!

This week we are wrapping up a 3-week series on the following quote:

"Of all of the things you cannot control, the most important things you can are your thoughts, attitudes, and actions." - Steve Cunningham

We have broken down how to control your thoughts by identifying the negative thoughts, finding the triggers that lead to negative thoughts, replacing the negative thoughts with your overall goal, speaking the goal simply, clearly, and with a proclamation. and repeating this process often. Last week we discussed how to control your attitude by identifying your current orientation (do you naturally have a positive or negative attitude), daily reminding yourself of things you are grateful for, differentiating between your emotions and your attitude, and surrounding yourself with people who have a positive attitude.

As we conclude this series, we will be looking at how to control our actions.  This is huge because, if you are like most people, I bet there are a few actions you have that you would like to change.  And, if I spoke to the people closest to you, I bet there are a few of your actions they would like for you to change too! But, changing our actions isn't for the faint of heart... and you already know this.  My guess is that you have tried to change some of your actions before but with minimal results.  Maybe it was a goal of losing weight, but it didn't last.  Perhaps it was a goal to stop smoking, only to start back up a few days later.  Have you ever set a business goal, only to change it by the end of the week because it just felt too ambitious? If you can relate to any of these things, you are not alone! Millions of people are great 'starters' when it comes to changing their actions, but very few are great 'finishers.'  Why? I'm glad you asked! My goal is to help you understand why most people never experience long-term change, help you process the tools you need to make actual changes in your behavior, and give you really practical steps to start making those changes today! So, are you ready to get started?!

Why some people never change their actions, even when they want to!

You wake up one day and you decide that today is the day you are going to get healthier.  You are going to change your eating habits, exercise, and get fit! But by 2pm you cave.  There are brownies in the breakroom, or maybe it's fast food for lunch because you're hungry.  Either way, your morning resolve didn't quite last 12 hours and you convince yourself "It's okay, I will restart tomorrow." Sound familiar? Maybe it's not health-related.  Maybe it is work-related, or relationships, or some other goal you have.  You start strong but fade fast. Ever wonder why?  It's because you're attempting to change your actions from the wrong starting point. 

Real behavior change starts in your thinking, not your actions!  Psychologists who help people change their actions often use something called 'Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.'  Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) aims at helping you become aware of inaccurate thinking which leads to a change in your behavior. The basis of CBT is that the way we think impacts what we do.  This can explain why our strong starts often fade out fast - we might be trying hard to change the outside actions without acknowledging that there are some internal processes that need changing too.  For instance, if you hate making cold calls but decide that you are going to change your behavior and make 25 cold calls a day, how long will you last making those cold calls if you don't change the way you think about cold calls?  Similarly, if you dislike exercise but decide to get healthy and go to the gym for an hour a day, how long do you think that is going to last without changing the way your think about exercise? Most people never experience long-term change because they attempt to make a physical change without also changing the way they think! If your brain and your body are not in unison, you will almost certainly fail from the start! 

In fact, the first step to changing your actions is by changing the way you think! Your mind is a powerful force.  Jim Rohn says about the power of the mind

         "I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really want then                        your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. And sometimes                 it can be that simple, just a little twist in vocabulary that illustrates your                           attitude and philosophy.” 

Your mind will either be your biggest ally for change or your biggest opponent. So, before you begin to change your actions, take some time to discover what thought processes you need to change first.  Maybe your thoughts go something like this:

- I am not sure if I have what it takes to grow my business.

- Why can't I seem to grow my business like everyone else.

- Calling people feels uncomfortable and I don't know what to say.

- I'm pretty sure people hate my popby's - they probably throw them away when I leave.

- Most real estate agents think calls and popby's are 'old school' and 'lame'

When you address your thoughts, they may look more like this:

- I am cable of the things I set my mind to. If I really want to grow my business, it will grow!

- The only person I need to compare myself to is the person I was yesterday. I am most concerned with growing myself.

- I can be confident in calling my clients because I remind them I care for them, will take good care of them, and provide them with the best service possible.

- Popby's are more about letting someone know I was thinking about them - and people love to know that they are being thought of.

- Everyone has a different way of growing their business. I am doing what works for me and that's what matters most.

The second step is to align your goals and your thoughts. Once you have begun to change the way you think, it is time to set some physical goals.  These physical goals should align clearly with your thought processes. I am a fan of SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-sensitive) goals because these types of goals will help you engage your thinking and force you to align what you want to accomplish with how you think about it.  I encourage people to write these goals out.  Focus on them in the morning, again in the afternoon, and before bed.  Say them out loud when you read them.  Why so much focus on looking at your goals so often? Because we have a gravitational pull towards what we have done before.  If we truly desire to change we must continually put out before us the change we desire to see in ourselves. 

The third step is finding your resolve.  The definition of resolve is "to come to a determination; make up one's mind." In order to truly have a change in action, you must be resolved.  We live in a culture where we aren't resolved about much.  One day we embrace one thing and the next day it's something else.  We promote indecisiveness as 'freedom'  - but honestly, it's the farthest thing from being free.  We become slaves to culture shifts, to our emotions, to bad habits and poor thinking.  When we become resolved we find freedom from those things to choose what path we are going to make for ourselves.  Do you want to become a physically healthier person? You CAN do it! Be resolved! Do you want to grow your business no matter what is going on in the market? You CAN do it! Be resolved! Do you want to be more present with your children, spouse, or friends? You CAN do it! Be resolved!

The fourth and final step is to rebound quickly. When I was younger I played a lot of basketball.  I remember practicing all kinds of drills with my team to enhance our skills.  One drill we practiced often went something like this: Our coach would have us stand closer to the basket and then would throw the ball up towards the backboard.  The ball would bounce off and we were to block-out an opponent (a team member during this drill), jump up as high as we could, reach up with both hands, and grab the ball. It took just a matter of a second or two, but all of these actions needed to spring into place in order to rebound the ball.  And, if you didn't rebound the ball, it is likely that the other team will get the ball and score a point.  As we would practice this drill our coach would yell at us "Rebound hard boys! Rebound like your lives depend on it!" 

What is this basketball analogy all about?  Rebounding is not easy.  It takes a lot of intentionality to block out the things that are going to further oppose your goals and tenacity to propel yourself further towards your goal.  If you have a setback, it is important to remember to "rebound hard."  Don't think to yourself "I'll just do better tomorrow." No way! That kind of thinking opposes the change you desire! Instead, push that kind of thinking to the side and jump with all you have closer towards your goal! Setbacks are normal, it's what you do after a setback that determines if you will really reach your goals!

We believe in you and want to see you reach your goals.  To see you change those thoughts, attitudes, and actions in healthy and productive ways! That's why we provide quality resources and helpful tips to encourage and motivate you to live your best life in and out of your business! We are cheering for you!

Now - on to our newest resource for the week: 

Check out our IOV for month 9! This is a great mailer to your clients and sphere of influence and covers what the best return-on-investment is for homeowners.  There is LOTS of great research in this short informational piece. And, you can personalize this mailer so that it appears you created this piece just for your clients!